So I am being completely real and raw on this blog. I want you too see the struggles the moments of doubt. Why because I want you to know your not alone!! I also want you too see the success for all they are, and if you never see the mental struggle you'll never understand the emotional joys. This blog is going to be open and honest which is hard!! But I want to be fair to you! I want you to know the struggles, I want you to feel what I feel because seeing what we do is only a small taste of what this experience is about!
And yes be for warned I LOVE !!!!!!! and CAPITAL LETTERS oh and :) :( hehehe and I don't like editing. Even though they will be simple mistakes I know if I go back and re-read them I am liable to take the emotions out, so I have to just type and submit or else you won't get the thoughts in my head. So please understand I'm not an English major and I have no concept of your, you're, there, their.
But I am a human who is learning and I want to share that with you!
Here's a post I wrote on Facebook today and felt like I should share this with you all as in truth it has a LOT to do with preparing for the Peace Corps!
SO who's ready for a DEEP thought?!? If not keep scrolling! (this is not a pity post so ABSOLUTELY NO your the best crap, It is a dialog of the human nature)
So it PT(personal training) day and like i posted last night I feel like my emotions are taking over my body, dang double X chromosomes, and well I have a trainer that is amazing at not letting me give a half ass attempt. And today I so tried for one because I was having an internal pity party. Which lead to a plank (that one I posted about a week ago that I almost cried over) See the think about planking is it is 85% mental 15% physical. Well needless to say I half ass'd it because I keep thinking i'm to fat, to weak, to BLAH BLAH BLAH. But as the trainer sat there with me crying and hyperventilating after saying a few choice words to him. He asked me a deep question. And I want to ask it to you.
Why do we put limitations on ourselves?!? Why do we say we can't before we try!?! Why have we put living a LONG life about LIVING life?!?
An example of this is a friend I miss most times I see a Toyota with a dent, or a waterfall, or anything else I could see them running to jump off of. (Jason) Well you see he LIVED, his life was short but man oh man was it FULL. But MOST of us are so afraid of failing that we never even start! WHY?!? Why are does it take Cancer for us to finally say sorry, or go do that one thing you always wanted to do!?!
At what point do we as humans allow fear to control us and lose faith in ourselves and our god?!?
Just a deep questions for you all? One I know I will be thinking about!
Again this isn't a it's ok jenny post this is a stop and think about YOUR life YOUR actions, your passion. I'm not saying quit your job and go try and hug a bear on the side of a mountain. But I am saying stop and think about how you talk to YOURSELF, I am so mean and crule to myself because i've let others shape who I am and the thing is I have some of the most supportive people in my life. A mother who let's me drop off the face of the planet every could of years to "find myself", a lot of friends who have always encouraged me to do more, keep smiling, A great church family who is ALWAYS there when I need them most! Not to mention a group of colleagues who cheer me on. I've had the nay sayers, but for each one of them I've had 3 times as many tell me I could if I focused, tried.
Any who this is probably the longest post in history BUT again PLEASE stop and think, who knows it might just change your life!!
I'm hoping and praying it does mine.
Lots of Love
The lone wanderer
JumpInTheJungle
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