With all the "IF's AND's BUT's" there was endless talk with Washington DC, DOD (Department of Defense), airlines, hotels, staff, and us!! I was keen on NOT leaving! The last thing I wanted to happen was for them to pull us out and then the country be so destroyed that we would be told, "sorry but you can't go back." Also how could we just leave our families and staff behind? It wasn't fair!!! How is my life as an American more important then any of theirs? It's not!!
The news came to pack up one bag, leave the rest with the staff, and head to the airport. My heart hurt. I've NEVER felt more ashamed in my life. I know it seems odd to some of you; but these people have become my FAMILY and here I was being told I had to leave them there to possibly die, but because I was American they would do what ever they could to preserve my life.
Well we loaded up on the buses and as we got down the driveway a phone rang. We were told the plane couldn't take us and we should return to the hotel immediately. I was so dang happy!! We were told we were to wait out the storm in the conference room. In my head I saw this as amazing. I had envisioned all of us walking out the day after the storm passed, being the first ones on the scene to help rebuild Vanuatu IF Pam really did decide to come by for a visit. I remind you through all of this it was an IF & WHEN. We had already started to adjust to the idea of games we would play, we were making play lists we would use and the blog post we would write.
However, Pam continued to gain force and recognition. And yet she was still enjoying her time picking up force, creeping along. We went to bed that night with mixed emotions: some scared of what was to come, some so grateful we didn't have to leave. (Side note: I am from NC & FL so hurricanes are a norm to me, which played a LARGE role in my ideology of just hunkering down and riding it out.)
The next morning we had just finished am amazing breakfast and were waiting for our meeting with our leaders. They were in meetings with our director. I was sitting in the bar area drinking a chilled green coconut when the director's phone rang. The look on his face changed swiftly and the mood of the room changed with it. He stepped away from the group, finished the call, came back to the leaders, said 3 sentences, and then went off again. Several of us saw the call, the face, and how the faces of our cohorts had changed--some worried, some more relaxed. They quickly finished their meeting and by that point chatter was filling the lounge. They called the groups together in their rooms. You could have heard a pin drop when my leader said DC called. The storm has taken a turn that would make the eye of the storm land directly onto Port Villa and they have chartered a flight that we are to be on before 3 today in order to leave before the storm lands.
All I can say is the emotions were real and strong. My heart sank and I went to my room, crawled into the hotel closet, called a dear friend, and cried my eyes out for a solid 10 minutes. I screamed, I cussed, I sobbed. If the eye came over this island, deaths were going to happen. What if they were our staff? Our office could be destroyed. But coming from a military background I knew orders were orders so I finished packing and crying. I made some calls and then headed to the lobby for what would become the beginning of one of the longest waits of my life. (Or so it felt at that point)
The hard moments of the journey began. The Peace Corps staff was there to gather what we couldn't take and secure it in the office. They went back to work on VISA's; we loaded up on the bus and headed to the airport. Destination: Sydney, Australia. How I hated that ride. Oh how I hated the storm. BUT deep down I kept saying, "it could always turn away and spin out in the ocean and Vanuatu would be fine. I mean it's not even raining hard. Besides it's named after a woman and we all know how often women change their minds." These were some of my thoughts as I headed out of the country I had come to love.
I hadn't cried outside of the hotel room until I walked on the tarmac towards the plane. I saw our staff on the over look deck where they had waited two hours, unknown to us, to wave goodbye. Oh, how that moment broke my heart! I barely could see the stairs to load the plane. Luckily most of everyone elses' eyes were blurry too so they didn't mention mine. I wanted nothing more than for them to board that plane with us. But no, they were staying so that they could do everything possible to bring us back as soon as possible. How much love and respect I have for them!! We arrived in Sydney tired, beaten down, and honestly I felt broken. Little did I know that night was going to be one of the easiest ones we would have for weeks.
Until next time
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